The closer you become, the more you hurt. Is it true, or is it the sort of thing that you're just imagining? You don't want it to be true, and yet that's why you fear it. That fear and that paranoia set in so much that you don't do anything on account of what might happen. That "might" restricts you, and holds you back from what you could be doing.
You go on into the store and your heart is racing because she might be there. She might be in one aisle, or standing in a corner, or waiting at a register, and you just prepare yourself for that possibility. And you wait, and wait, and it makes every second that much longer. And you feel the air grow thicker and your shirt begins to stick to you from the cold sweat you're trapped in. You think you hear her voice, you turn around, hopeful and fearful, and she isn't there. You buy what you need, pass through the door and leave, and you're shaking. You're putting the bags into the backseat of the car and you can't help but tremble because she wasn't there.
You want to see her because you need to see her. You don't want to see her you're scared of her. You slip between the two extremes constantly.
The farther you are, the more you need. The closer you are, the more you hurt. Such is the hedgehog's dilemma.
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